Love, laughter, joy and happiness. Great components of a happy marriage, but not always achievable.
For Melvin (Dale) Stinnett, 92, and Vivian (Jenny) Vaughn, 89, those essential ingredients for a wonderful life have been a mainstay in their long and happy marriage. They recently hit the 70 year mark on Oct. 20, 2021.
Dale, a native of Fillmore, Mo., grew up on a farm and worked in construction. He served in the US Army from 1948-1951 and spent time in Korea. Dale returned to the construction industry and worked as a member of the Operating Engineers Local 101 as a heavy equipment operator for 62 years. Following retirement, Dale helped his son realize his dream of owning a father-son excavating business in Platte City.
Jenny grew up on a farm just south of St. Joseph. She worked on a peony distribution farm. Her job included picking the peonies, bundling them into a dozen, wrapping and tying them, and placing them in buckets for distribution.
She then became a seamstress for Big Smith Manufacturing. Both she and Dale always enjoyed their work.
Dale and Jenny met at a dance at what used to be called a roadhouse named Greenfield Village, just north of St. Joe.
After a friend introduced them, Jenny remembers how handsome Dale looked in his Army uniform and Dale thought she was very nice looking and easy to talk to. They dated for a few months and loved dancing and drive-in movie theaters.
Dale’s sister and her husband had offered him a job and a place to stay with them in Colorado when he returned from service. Dale immediately asked Jenny if she would like to get married. If not, he was going to Colorado. She told him it would be fine to get married, but she wasn’t going to Colorado.
They were soon married at the house of Rev. AF Klemme in Amazonia, Mo., with only the Reverend, his wife, Dale’s brother and his wife attending.
A honeymoon wasn’t possible since Dale had to work the next day.
In 1961, they built a house in Savannah, Mo., where they raised their four children, Jennifer (Spalding), Janice (Sweet), Jody (Hornbeck) and Bob Stinnett. After marrying, Jenny became a homemaker and stay-at-home mom.
After they sold their homestead, they moved to Tracy in 1975, so that Dale could be closer to his work at the Operating Engineers Local 101 Apprenticeship Program.
Their son, Bob, graduated from Platte County R-3 High School and Jenny worked at Western Auto in Platte City.
Marriage challenges were few for the Stinnetts.
“We’ve never had a particular challenge,” Dale said. “Just life itself is its own challenge.”
“In the beginning, just doing the laundry was a challenge,” Jenny said.
Their first home was an apartment in St. Joe and Jenny had to carry the laundry to a woman’s house a couple of blocks away to use her electric washing machine, then carry the wet clothes back to the apartment, up the stairs to the attic filled with cobwebs and hang them on lines to dry.
Sometimes Dale and Jenny would drive to the laundromat to wash Dale’s greasy work clothes.
“One time a red rag got overlooked in the pocket of a newer pair of striped bib overalls, causing all his lighter-colored work clothes to come out pink,” Jenny said. Another time the bluing spilled in Jenny’s coat pocket causing a big stain.
When they moved to a house in Amazonia, there was no running water in the house, so they had to have water hauled in to fill the cistern, and then they pumped water to carry into the house. Jenny carried in the water to fill the wash tub and scrubbed the clothes on a washboard, wrung out the clothes by hand and hung them on the clothesline outside, when possible.
She eventually bought a wringer washer from a traveling salesman, which made the process much simpler, even though she still carried in the water and hung the clothes on the line to dry.
Along with the couple’s hard work, they enjoyed many hobbies over the years, including: genealogy, pictures, scrap-booking, sewing, collecting birds, keeping house, watching grandchildren and making pies. Dale enjoyed hunting, playing his banjo and guitar, building their house, and his work.
For their children, growing up in the Stinnett family gave them lifelong memories that enhanced each of their lives.
“All the love, laughter, joy and happiness we had working, eating, traveling and visiting as a family,” Jennifer said. “You always knew that you could depend on Mom and Dad for love and support.”
“A happy memory for me was when Dad would take us to Thomas Market and get sliced bologna and fresh bread and a six pack of Pepsi and we would go to Krug Park and have a picnic and play,” Janice said.
While each of the Stinnett’s kids have vivid memories of their parents, many center around the family’s bond.
“We did so much as a family,” Jody said. “Picnics, family reunions, building our house and garage, raising a few calves, a horse, and several dogs and cats over the years. And taking family vacations to a different destination every summer. One of my favorite memories of our family was that we always celebrated Christmas together on Christmas Eve. As we got older, many of us had to work that day, so we would come as soon as we got off work. We would have a meal, snacks, presents, and visit long into the evening.”
As a young boy, Bob enjoyed going to work with his dad, learning the construction trade and hunting. “My fondest memory was working with Dad every day in our family business,” Bob said. “Time I will always cherish was spending time in the kitchen with mom, I learned to cook and make pies, Mom and Dad value family time and most of my happiest memories growing up included family gatherings, Sunday dinners, holidays, birthday celebrations and sharing many meals.”
They have learned many things about love and devotion in a marriage thanks to Dale and Jenny. Janice has learned to stay together, be kind, laugh a lot and forgive. Jody learned to spend time together, listen and enjoy each other. Jennifer saw that marriage takes hard work, patience, understanding and forgiveness.
“Mom and Dad are selfless and committed to each other,” Bob said. “They both have a great sense of humor and laugh a lot. They taught us that everything always works out for the best, if you give it enough time, as nothing ever stays the same.”
All four of the children believe that Dale and Jenny have been role models in every area of their lives. For Jennifer, her parents taught her the value of working for the things you want and taking care of what you have, appreciating the small things in life and especially valuing the love of family. “I have always looked up to them and tried to emulate them as much as possible,” Jennifer said.
Janice wanted to emulate her parents because they are honest, moral and kind.
“We take after both of them in so many ways,” Jody said. “They taught us to take care of what you have, fix what you can, be a Jack of all trades, and always leave a place better than you found it.
Bob said his mom and dad both have a strong work ethic, sound moral compass, and have been a great example for everyone in his family to look up to.
For Jenny and Dale, they always enjoyed their work, but the most memorable and rewarding moments in their life together has been the enjoyment of watching their four children, 12 grandchildren and 20-plus great-grandchildren grow up. They loved traveling, sometimes for work, to places like Hawaii. They traveled by RV to Branson and several other states. They enjoyed music shows, museums, tours of different state capitol buildings, and scenery in general.
Over the years, they have enjoyed many large family dinners, with Jenny doing almost all the cooking herself, with meats, large pots of mashed potatoes, vegetables, hot rolls, salads, iced tea and lemonade, and homemade pies or cakes with ice cream for dessert. Sundays, holidays, and everyone’s birthday were special. Everyone was always welcome.
The children hosted a 70th anniversary celebration for Jenny and Dale recently with a barbeque meal and cake. Their children, most of their grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, and four of Dale’s five sisters were able to take part, as well as other relatives and friends.
Jenny and Dale would advise a young man and woman who are thinking about getting married to be able to give and take, be careful of misunderstandings, smile and laugh a lot and most importantly, don’t take life too seriously.
For Jennifer, her mom and dad are the perfect model of how to make a wonderful marriage work. For Jody, Dale and Jenny are an inspiration. From her parents, Janice has learned that every day is a new day and you need to learn to make the best of it.
“Mom and Dad have always shown a great deal of respect for one another,” Bob said. “They are both patient and kind, and their laughter is contagious. We are blessed to have them as parents because they value the importance of family and have given our family their unwavering support and have always shown us unconditional love.”