For Shane Bartee, one of the most rewarding parts of being the father of six is seeing his children take care of each other, teach each other, and seeing them step up to the plate when the situation calls for it.
Shane and his wife, Susanna Hickman Bartee, have been married 29 years. His children are Abigail, 27, Hannah, 24, Hank, 22, Lucy, 17, Hutch, 15 and Adam, 9.
Shane, who is an attorney and counselor at law at Bartee Law Firm in Weston and an Army veteran, has fond memories of his children being born in locations around the U.S. and Germany.
His oldest child, Abigail was born in a small German hospital in which no one except the doctor spoke English.
“I just remember a lot of chaos and I had no idea what was going on and could not understand any of it,” Shane said. “Hannah was born at Fort Belvoir Army hospital, Va. and she was nearly 23 inches long ‑ she just kept coming. Hank was born in Charlottesville, Va. while the UVA football game played on TV. He’s been a football fan ever since.”
Lucy was born at Martha Jefferson Hospital in Virginia, which Shane described as the nicest hospital he and Susanna had ever seen.
“We kept thinking someone was going to make us move to a different one,” Shane said.
Hutch was born in Germany also, while Shane was deployed in Iraq.
“I missed his birth by two days but a picture of our reunion upon my return is enshrined in the Big Red One museum at Fort Riley, Kan,” Shane said.
It makes Shane proud that when Hutch was born then 12-year-old Abigail and 10-year-old Hannah ran the household for a few days with help from the Bartee’s nearby friends while Susanna was in the hospital.
“Adam was born literally days before we were to move back to Weston from Georgia and Susanna just kept insisting that we needed to get this birth done so we could pack for the move,” Shane said.
Shane treasures his memories of humorous moments with his family, like the time they were lost in a city, driving around in circles.
“They couldn’t help but question how I actually flew an Army helicopter successfully,” Shane said. “We’ve been lost on a long mountain hike only to turn a corner and find the perfect café complete with food, beverage and amazing views. I get to remind them that God rewards the persistent and the adventurous (and apparently, the lost).”
Susanna and Shane decided early on that they would spend their money on experiences, not on things, so they travel as often as they can. With six kids travelling becomes challenging, so they have shown their children that people must deliberately plan and save for these experiences.
“They all love to travel, meet new people, and explore different cultures,” Shane said. “I think they are comfortable with the challenges of being in a new place and Susanna and I like that. They also like the outdoors and bike riding. We’ve ridden bikes in many different places in the world and love doing it as a family. I’ve often told my kids, ‘the world looks different on the back of a bike.’”
The family also shares a love for the Denver Broncos.
Shane believes the most challenging part of parenting is confronting the unknown with a child and making a decision that you often do not know is the right or best decision, yet knowing it can have long-term ramifications for that child.
He believes that raising his family in Weston provides ample benefits for his children.
“Susanna and I love this town,” Shane said. “I love that I can let my kids ride their bikes downtown, or run the bluff trail, or play outside, and not worry about accompanying them. They’ll come home when it is time and if they need something or need help, they can just knock on any door.”
As the children get older Shane thinks they have taken to heart what he and Susanna have always preached as their family Standing Order No. 1: “As one day becomes another, most of all we love each other.” (from Madeline by Ludwig Bemelmans). And he says notwithstanding some sibling conflict now and then, they really do follow that order.
As far as plans on what careers they plan to pursue, the kids have their own ideas.
“I’m not sure what it says about my performance as a father, but none of them want to be a soldier or an attorney,” Shane said. “Susanna and I just encourage them to do what interests them but to always, always do their duty, however that duty presents itself.”
When he and his wife face eventual empty nesting Shane said he will have no idea how to act or what to do.
“However, Susanna is my favorite person on earth so whatever we do, it will be a blast,” Shane said. “Honestly, we will probably take a trip somewhere and use that trip to plan getting all the kids together for another family adventure.”
The family’s Father’s Day plans include Shane grilling a backyard feast if they all agree to go on a family hike or bike ride together.
If a new dad asked Shane about good parenting he said he would remind them that the world will present a lot of fast, easy, and quick ways to success in many things.
But there is no shortcut or quick way to success in authentic parenting because that demands a relationship with your child. He advises to build that relationship with your child and you can both manage the difficult times, because those times will come.
“I’d advise a new dad that there is no perfect model for each family,” Shane said. “We just let ours happen as it came and tried not to worry about pressure to conform to a stereotypically ‘normal’ family size. I’d remind the young father to relax, turn off the TV, stop playing video games, quit fantasy football, and take walks, often, to push that stroller every day. And I’d also let him know a quote from Elizabeth Stone that Susanna shared with me years ago: ‘Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.’”