Matt Neal’s paralyzing fear of flying became a phobia that had plagued him over time. When he began seeing a hypnotist in 2018, he never expected the profound changes in his life that ensued over the next few years.
Local resident Matt Neal details his journey into learning the uses and benefits of hypnotism.
After he realized that, for him, hypnosis was a crucial and pivotal tool in self development and “not just a way to chill deeply for half an hour,” he wanted to tell everyone he could about how incredible he found the process to be. So he made the decision to become a hypnotist himself, and began practicing on July 4, 2020 at Infinite Wave Hypnosis in Liberty.
“I could never properly articulate how to address the profundity of hypnosis and the ability it has to empower people to look within themselves and change their lives,” Neal said. “About two years into my sessions, while agonizing over which word to use and where to use it, I was struck with the realization that I will never be able to convey with any heft or grace what I wish to say about the benefits of hypnosis and that I’d better be prepared to show how hypnosis can change lives. I decided (despite my aversion to putting my money where my mouth is) that the best way to show people how incredible hypnosis can be was by becoming a CH (Certified Hypnotist.) The rest, as they say, is history.”
His fear of flying had been made worse by his aversion to big crowds and heights. He described the feeling of not being able to control his life during hours trapped in a metal tube in the sky six miles above sea level with 200 strangers and no easy exits as a nightmare scenario.
When he had to make plans to travel to California in 2018 with his two young children, he knew it was going to be a tough journey. He didn’t want to medicate before or during the flight. He had recently begun a meditative practice but he knew that meditation alone was not going to prevent his extreme anxiety. He knew he needed help.
“To this day, I can’t tell you why the idea of hypnosis popped into my brain,” Neal said. “I liken this to a moment of clarity or divine timing. I researched the topic exhaustively. When I had seen a TED Talk about how the brain responds to hypnosis in very much the same way as EMDR therapy, (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) is a nontraditional type of psychotherapy, particularly for treating post-traumatic stress disorder). With less than a week before my flight, I booked a session as quickly as possible. In one session lasting an hour, I was relaxed like I never had been before, Zen like and totally calm. I gave myself a phrase, or mantra, to concentrate on: ‘The ascent is necessary.’ If I am to see the Pacific, I’m going to have to take to the sky to get there. The ascent is necessary. The ascent is necessary. The session ended, and just like that, I felt sleepy. My flight, now only five days away, still induced a nervousness, I noticed, but there was no longer dread.”
On the day of the flight, he was on the plane and strapped in, and he could feel his heartbeat in the sides of his head. He said it felt like a 20-pound weight in his stomach. As the plane accelerated on the runway, he reminded himself ‘the ascent is necessary,’ and he repeated this to himself over and over.
“I felt my seat lean back as we gained speed, I feel the loft and I felt the weight in my stomach drop through me and hit the ground below,” Neal said. “Deep inhale, deep exhale. The ascent is necessary. We’re airborne. The ascent is necessary. I’m still here. The ascent is necessary. This is it? I wondered. This is what I’ve been missing? I spent the rest of the flight wondering what else in life I had been missing, and wondering how in the world I had gotten there. If hypnosis can help me with this crippling fear I had, what else is possible? I’ve been hooked ever since.”
Neal continued seeing the hypnotist and the changes he saw in himself gave him a new sense of direction for his life. He said he lost his sense of identity that he had spent the better part of 30 years building and the image of what he wanted to project for other people to see, which for him meant presenting himself as an open, energetic and emotionally stable person.
“In honesty, I’m quiet, introspective, I can be a people pleaser and I can bury my emotions so deeply that I am often able to convince myself they’re not real,” Neal said. “And because hypnosis works at a subconscious level, most of the changes that take place are not quickly evident nor are they obvious until one is face to face with a situation that produces a ‘triggering’ emotion, and it was in moments of unbearable adversity I had to face the deepest emotions I spent so much time trying to deny.”
Using the tools taught through hypnosis, he has been able to practice what it is to become the ‘observer’ of his thoughts and emotions, which helped him build and cultivate a newer sense of self where he is no longer dependent on belief patterns and behaviors that kept him stagnant. The changes have been positive, and subtle.
“Whereas I used to fall apart when things didn’t go according to how I thought they should, I am now becoming grateful for world-shattering moments in which I can practice becoming the observer, and look forward to a time when becoming the observer becomes automatic for me,” Neal said. “When I learned to just relax through the tension and anxiety my thoughts settled and my heart stopped racing.”
Relinquishing control was hard for Neal. As a person who felt like things had to be on his terms, becoming comfortable with flying, crowds and heights has been challenging.
“I realized I was responsible for the feelings my thoughts were producing and that I could choose how I want to respond to situations,” Neal said. “Through hypnotic relaxation, I’ve been gradually learning to relax my death grip on control and this has produced a snowball effect of positivity in so many aspects of my life, from traffic and the drudgery of day-to-day minutiae, to how I respond in my relationships with my family, friends and co-workers, even in coming to terms with mortality. While I still don’t care for (and would not choose to be in) tight, enclosed spaces, when I feel my heart and thoughts start racing, I can breathe and settle in and know everything is okay. I don’t know that I would have truly been able to relax so deeply if I had not had help doing so, through hypnosis.”
Neal knew that he wanted to become a hypnotist, but he didn’t really feel like it fit his persona. His day job was unfulfilling and he was looking for something different.
“Hypnosis still seemed a bit far fetched for a working-class guy like me to not only buy into, but actually practice,” Neal said. “I was initially kind of turned off to the idea. I thought, ‘I’m a man that needs to be a provider; I can’t make any money this way. I’d do better in another part of the country, this can never work in the Midwest. All my bros are going to think I’m a nutcase, this is not what a dude does.’ But after the right amount of soul-searching, reflection and praying, I got the answer I was looking for in the form of COVID-19.”
During the pandemic quarantine, Neal had nothing but time on his hands and he knew he had to keep his mind busy with something. He found a hypnotist instructor on Zoom and they clicked.
“She used the same terms I did when talking about how impassioned we were about the process,” Neal said. “About halfway through the conversation, my stomach felt warm and I knew that my gut was telling me this was it. There wasn’t any more doubt or denying it at that point.”
Neal explains hypnotism as a state of deep relaxation that allows for a person to become highly suggestible. When deeply relaxed, the brain enters what’s called a theta rhythm (also called a hippocampal oscillation), the brainwave state in which the body and mind’s natural healing processes are most active and enhanced. This state is also the dominant learning pattern from the time a person is born until they reach the end of adolescence around 13 or 14.
“At that point, we have our hard-wiring for how we will interface with the world at large,” Neal said. “With hypnosis, and any other practices that utilize this same wave pattern, like meditation and EMDR therapy we are able to essentially ‘tap into’ those same thought and belief patterns we had as youth that make us more open to suggestion and more likely to have those suggestions stick.”
Some of the most common conditions Neal’s patients suffer from are anxiety, restlessness, doubt, grief, fear of the unknown and accepting and making peace with past struggles.
“It seems to me something most people seem to have in common when they walk in the door is that they have tried everything they know to try, and this is a last resort,” Neal said. “The real common denominator, I truly believe, is that most people think they know themselves when in fact, they’ve lost touch with who they really are or have surrendered the power they have over their lives to whatever they believe has a grip on them. Most people tend to believe the stories they tell themselves, and that cycle repeats itself ad infinitum. Real power comes in the form of belief and choice: what you choose to believe ends up informing and defining your life. That’s why I think it is so important to believe you are capable of making the changes you want to make in your life. Which is not to say you won’t need help from time to time, or that community isn’t important; you will absolutely need people in your corner. But the onus is on you to start believing in yourself, as it is only then change becomes tangible.”
Hypnosis has sometimes been portrayed in movies and books as a means to take over a person’s mind and make them do things beyond their will. Neal is familiar with the typical movie stereotype of dangling a pocket watch in front of someone’s eyes until they enter a trance, and at the snap of fingers come out of it and have no memory of what happened, but he says this could not be further from the truth.
“Hypnosis is only effective if you are an active participant; that is to say, hypnosis can only work if you choose to engage freely of your own accord,” Neal said. “It is the exact opposite of a loss of free will, which is why the effects can be so profound. Like any self development, you get out of it what you put in. So when people actively choose to invest in their own success, however they gauge or define success, the results are nothing short of amazing. The real, honest work of cultivating the self will happen after the client has left the chair and is an active participant in life, choosing to stay present in the moment, rather than existing on autopilot; to choose to actively engage in your circumstances, whatever they may be. What we choose, how we choose it and why we choose it is all ingrained in our subconscious, and it is up to you to exercise your own agency in accessing your subconscious.”
Although there are still misconceptions about hypnosis, the American Psychological Association has promoted hypnosis as a therapy beneficial for pain, anxiety and mood disorders, and research by neuroscientists and psychologists has increased.
“Hypnosis is a great way to allow a person the faculties to change their mind, which in doing so will change their mindset and allow the person the changes necessary for a breakthrough. And better sleep, no question,” Neal said. “The greatest rewards for me in helping people overcome so many mental and physical problems is a personal sense of contribution to what I consider the greater good. I want people to see how powerful their mind is and what good they are capable of producing when everything is clicking for them. I am always in awe of what people are capable of when they believe anything is possible.”
Neal assures his patients that hypnosis is safe and relaxing. “It’s not an instant fix and it’s not always a rosy experience, like a massage. It is a tool that allows you to get out of your own way, out of your own head and offers you an opportunity to change something in yourself that allows you to function optimally, and hopefully, more happily and at peace.”