During Phyllis Barbara Gremillion’s experience with stomach cancer, she and her husband, Dennis came into contact with people who were struggling to make ends meet. People who were alone, were single parents, and many families who were having to choose if they could purchase a meal or pay their bills.
During their times at the cancer center, the Gremillions chose to purchase meals regularly for cancer patients and caregivers.
In 2014, Phyllis passed away from complications of stomach cancer.
“Phyllis was a generous and giving person and the way she lived her life was an inspiration to many,” Dennis said. “In the memory of Phyllis, we want to continue to help as many people as possible so they can focus on the fight of their life and maybe take a little bit of the worry of bills and the cost of treatment off of them.”
Dennis is a co-founder of the The Hudson Project Charity, a 501(c)(3) that directly helps people who struggle everyday with life as they fight cancer. The mission and purpose of The Hudson Project is to raise and distribute funds to support identified cancer patients and/or their caregivers through its meal and spot assistance programs. Meal programs supply meals for patients and caregivers undergoing outpatient treatment. Spot assistance works to help with expense relief such as purchasing food, paying utility bills, assisting in travel expenses for treatment, or providing short-term relief in purchasing medical supplies not covered by insurance. The Project’s purpose is to directly support those fighting cancer.
This December, the famous Christmas display at Dennis’ neighbors, the Wilson family’s home at 17560 N Braeburn Court in Platte City will present new songs for their light show set to music, new props and a mega tree to help the charity and offer the community a beautiful Christmas display. Last year they raised $165 for The Hudson Project Charity, and they are hoping that local residents will give a donation to the charity this year.
Phyllis Gremillion and her dog Hudson.
While the Gremillions battled cancer they saw examples of the great strength and courage that many patients and caregivers exhibited. They also observed many people who were alone, had been abandoned, or were struggling financially.
“Imagine those patients whose spouses, families, or friends abandoned them in their worst time of need,” Dennis said. “Unfortunately, these situations were observed regularly. Where many cancer charities focus on raising funds to cure cancer, The Hudson Project targets showing love and compassion directly to both patients and caregivers, either through group-based programs or individual gifting.
“Our tradition was to help people and we carried that on during her illness, including buying meals for patients and caregivers,” Dennis said. “Towards the end, Phyl told me to take care of myself so I could take care of her and other people. I always keep my promises, so my son and I started The Hudson Project for the ‘others’ that has now carried on for over eight years.”
Dennis taught his family the joy of feeding people. The family would pick someone in a restaurant that appeared to treat the staff nice and ordered conservatively. They would work with a server to pay for the person’s meal and sometimes also deliver dessert. The stipulation was that the server had to wait until after they left to tell the recipient of the gift.
Phyllis followed this tradition one day prior to her cancer diagnosis, however the server did not understand the need to be anonymous. The woman who received the gift came to her before she could leave and told her that she was alone and had just been told she had cancer. The gift made the recipient’s day just a little brighter.
The goals of the project were directly influenced by Dennis’ experiences in caring for his wife, and their desire to help others. During the time that they were fighting cancer, they met wives whose husbands left because ‘they did not sign up for cancer,’ or children that were too focused on their own lives to care about a parent, and many that just needed one good thing to help make their day.
“The vast majority of patients are simply struggling to keep their lives going while they fight cancer,” Dennis said. “In all cases, bills at home do not stop for you to focus on saving or extending your life. As survival rates for many cancers improve and new technologies are developed, these are still people and not statistics that are suffering and can use our support.”
Almost 1,600 Americans die from cancer each day. For the year 2014, 8,490 American women died of stomach cancer. Phyllis was one of those that did not survive. In honor of her memory and of her love for her beloved ‘Gentlest Giant Hudson,’ her dog, Dennis founded The Hudson Project.
“A few weeks before Phyl passed, Hudson passed,” Dennis said. “He was our second giant Great Dane that she had nursed back to health a year before. Unfortunately on a visit back here from the hospital, I had to rush him to the animal hospital where he passed the next morning. I had to rush him so quickly that she never got to say goodbye to him. Just a week later, our Golden, Duncan passed away. Of course Phyl passed away just a little after that. We had our first Great Dane, Humphrey, who was a Hallmark model, who passed away about six months after that. So we lost our entire family in about six months. She loved them all, but Hudson was her 200-pound baby, so we had to name the charity after him. We use a theme of what you need to fight cancer, and the character that Hudson and our other Danes presented … Faith Courage Strength Hope and Love.”
Even with insurance, it is expensive to fight cancer. The Gremillions met caregivers that ate one meal a day just to make ends meet, while others on fixed incomes had to stretch out their funds. “In some cases, getting a free meal just makes a terrible day a little better, Dennis said. “If you can see the smile on a person’s face when they do not have to pay for their meal, it would make you cry.”
In its first year, the project’s original target was to provide 1,200 meals, and not only met its goal, but provided meals for more than 2,800 people fighting the cancer battle.
This program is intended to address people at various levels of need. Individual gifting or personal expense relief generally targets later stage cancer patients, patients with an expected long-term need for treatment, or those whose personal situation and their cancer treatment causes a verifiable financial hardship.
General need gifting is provided as a cash gift to be used by the recipient as needed. Examples of specific needs include short-term lodging assistance for outpatient treatment, providing assistance for utility bills, or supporting child or pet care during treatment.
“You may ask why include caregivers in this effort,” Dennis said. “If you can spend a week with a dedicated caregiver of a person with an advanced cancer you will find a person who actually suffers along with the patient. Imagine always being there in all situations, cleaning up, comforting, and most of the time having to be the heavy. You are also the first one after any procedure to learn if it did not work or the cancer had progressed. Caregivers are the rock that each patient needs, however the pain carries on for the caregiver if cancer wins the fight.”
Many people don’t realize that even with a good insurance plan, it is expensive to fight cancer.
Some insurance companies will not pay for certain medical needs. As several larger insurance companies have determined that tube feeding is a nutritional need and is not a covered expense, individuals generally have to rent pumps on a monthly basis, which is expensive.
The Hudson Project has purchased reusable and non-reusable medical supplies to support a short-term need for patients.
The temporary and postoperative need for tube feeding is common in many abdominal cancers and is financially beneficial to the rental companies. The Project purchased and put into rotation a number of tube feeding pumps that are loaned to patients during their recovery process. As these pumps are allocated to patients by a medical team based on need, they can be used for many years providing a cost avoidance and needed support.
The Project also has a Teacher Support Program that specifically targets individuals who are fighting cancer and are working in a service position (teachers, nurses, police, fire, etc.). As an initial focus, the Project will target teachers who are fighting later stage cancer, who have an expected long-term need for treatment, or those whose personal situation and their cancer treatment causes a verifiable financial hardship. Working through area schools, PTSA programs, or other contacts, the program solicits personal recommendations for this program.
“Many times what we do is anonymous or we try to be low key,” Dennis said. “I was once at the cancer center setting up the process to pay for everyone’s meals as they ate that day, and an older man started going through the line. I gave him $20 and asked him to hurry over and buy another man’s breakfast. For about a $3 meal both the older man and my giant college football lineman son were in tears. He understood our idea of small blessings can lead to bigger ones.”